Outside Lands isn’t just about the music. Some of the best entertainment could be found in the comedy tent. The lineup in the Barbary tent this year was stellar. Alongside talks from Gavin Newsom and Bill Nye the Science Guy, some of the best stand-up acts around took to the stage.
It felt a little strange walking into a hushed, darkened marquee tent in the middle of a sunny music festival, but the occasional drifting bass lines from the the nearby Twin Peaks stage didn’t distract the crowd, which packed the 1,000-person-capacity space for almost every show.
We’ve rounded up the comedians who made us laugh the loudest, with some of their best lines.
Emily Catalano
“I’m dating a guy who rides a motorcycle, which is awesome because I’m afraid of commitment.”
Taylor Tomlinson
“I haven’t dated a loser for 30 days. Losers are a lot like cigarettes: you have one in your mouth, you feel pretty cool, but everyone around you is like ‘Ew, we feel sad for you.’”
Eliza Skinner
“I was a weird kid. All kids are weird. What kind of weird? What was I up to? Chewing up pieces of bread, shaping them into balls, freezing them for later.”
Michelle Wolf
“I really fucking hate robots…don’t you clap, you Silicon Valley assholes. I hate robots, and I’m saying that now, because in a couple of years, people will be like, ‘You can’t say that about robots. That’s robophobic.’”
Paul Sheer
“Not all bald men are the same” — after being mistaken for David Cross, Rob Corddry and Corey Stahl on a recent Disneyland vacation.
Phoebe Robinson
“My boyfriend was storing things at my house, and my friends pointed out that he had moved in with me without me knowing. Is that how colonialism got started? France was like, ‘I’m gonna leave my Death Cab for Cutie vinyl at your place,’ and Haiti got fucked up.”
Megan Gailey (from the Hysteria by Crooked Media Panel)
“The fact that Cher will never perform a Super bowl halftime show is the biggest waste of talent in this country’s history. The kids don’t know who she is. The only way she could perform was if she did a duet with Post Malone or forced DJ Khaled to eat her out. That would be a halftime show I’d watch.”
Hey! The Bold Italic recently launched a podcast, This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley. Check out the full season or listen to the episode below featuring Alexia Tsotsis, former co-editor of TechCrunch. More coming soon, so stay tuned!
