Pandemic Dating Diaries
The Pandemic Dating Diaries is a series from The Bold Italic that features moments in love, dating, and sex during Covid-19 directly from our readers. Have a story you’d like to submit? Email us or DM us on Twitter or Instagram.
When the pandemic began, I hadn’t been in a proper relationship in years.
I’ve always been independent with no desire to be with just anyone to fill a void. After going freelance in 2017, I decided to put all of my energy toward concentrating on my career. Dating apps proved a distraction from my professional goals, so I deleted every single one on my phone.
Before making this switch, I had dated online, in person, and had even been in toxic semblances of relationships. And though part of me really wanted to be in a healthy and loving relationship, I knew trying for that would take away from my work.
But then, that work stopped. 2020 hit me hard; as a freelance photographer, all of my jobs were canceled. This seemed bleak. Given the kind of year it turned out to be, the last thing I thought would happen was finding love, but that’s exactly what I did. And I think that’s because I finally had the time to look for it with an open heart without distraction.
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When Covid first hit, I was staying safe and at home, but as I began to read articles about people dating during quarantine by meeting virtually and socially distancing, I opened up to the idea. I reactivated my dating apps, hopping on here and there. The same old story played out: I’d have a match, but neither of us would reach out.
Then in late July, I found someone who stuck out for me. I can’t explain why exactly, but he resonated — rare after coming across countless profiles. John worked as an in-house chef for a company in the Bay Area, but had been working from home, developing recipes for people within the company to try at home. I was happily surprised that we matched. I decided to listen to my gut and my horoscope, and I sent him a message, not expecting to hear from him at all (since this exact scenario had happened to me many times before).
To my surprise, he messaged me back.
I instantly felt a connection to him — we had so much in common, more so than anyone else I had ever dated. We were actually both a bit worried that we might have had too much in common but we were relieved to learn that we are also very different. We’re both self-described weirdos who have the same sense of humor. We both love food, are from Northern California, and went to art school. And we both love music — but he is more knowledgeable about it than I am.
We sent each other a number of lengthy messages before we decided to meet up in person. He lived just on the other side of Lake Merritt in Oakland from me. We met in a park near my house on a sunny Sunday in August, wearing our masks.
I was so nervous to meet him. I was worried I’d be disappointed and was partially worried I was getting catfished. I wasn’t. Our connection was instant — and easy. We spent a few hours at the park, but told him I had to leave at a certain time to feed my cats. Neither of us wanted to go.
Quickly, he became the one person I saw. It’s made this tough time more bearable. We spent my birthday, Christmas, and New Years together — which I would’ve most likely spent alone (besides my two cats). It’s also been a relief that John loves them so much, especially after dating men who didn’t. On New Year’s day, John even picked up a filet of fish just for them so that they could have a nice New Year’s dinner.
We’ve talked about the future but for now are just enjoying our time together. I feel lucky that the pandemic gave me the time and space to find him and this certain connection during a time with so much uncertainty.
