This is officially the last column of this series for 2019! Back in March, when the Sketchiest Bay Area Apartments You Can Rent made its debut, we weren’t expecting that readers would send us horrifying listings, like this garage with no windows and a leaking roof. Other readers shared stories of how lucky they got, back before the tech boom took over the Bay Area and nicer, cheaper rentals were easier to find. As one comment read, “In 2004, I got on a plane and landed in SF on a Wednesday. I went to a coffee shop, fired up Craigslist, and found a nice-looking apartment on Nob Hill for $1250/month. I moved in on Friday and stayed for 11 years. And, yes, it was rent-controlled. It was a different universe. You could not pay me to live in that city now.”
Compiling this monthly list also helped us discover people who were renting out commercial spaces, like this first one we found back in May. Our most “WTF!” discovery was when a reader sent us a post from Rick in San Jose showing his listings for a broken-down vehicle with an inflatable mattress included, which he has been consistently advertising since May.
While we sometimes take a lighthearted and often comical approach to these listings, we’re aware that there’s a major housing crisis sweeping across the Bay Area, forcing renters to end up in these types of rentals.
So join us one last time this year on a trip down this rabbit hole. Relax, and enjoy your hot chocolate or hot apple cider as you look through this month’s roundup.
The cheapest living room you’ll find
The good? Your own walk-in closet — and only one roommate — for $500 a month. The bad? Well, your sleeping quarter is going to be the living room of this one-bedroom apartment in East Oakland without any room dividers to give you any privacy. The sketchy part? The person posting this ad is a 40-year-old man who wants only a female roommate.
Partitioned living rooms are all the rage
Here’s the thing with market-rate units: Roommates will take full advantage of the square footage, and this is one of the reasons why we see countless living rooms advertised as rooms for rent. With this one, you’ll share the apartment with three other roommates, and your “bedroom” will be roughly half of the living room, which has been conveniently divided with two IKEA wardrobes and a curtain. Luxury living at its finest.
The description alone should make you want to run!
We came across this post in which a guy is offering a room for rent in his house in San Jose, but only for women. We’ve talked about these types of posts in the past and how they’ve become more popular since Craigslist shut down the personal-ads section last year. As the ad reads, “If you have a strong and unsatisfied libido, that’s great. Let’s see what we can work out.” These lines alone are grounds for the ad to be flagged.
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
This post offers a shared studio with a single guy in his thirties in Belmont. At $800, it seems like a good deal, until you reach the end of the description, where it reads, “We can have a mutual beneficial thing as well.” That’s the catch: a personal ad in disguise. That’s three so far this month.
Is this satire?
Every once in a while, we come across bizarre ads that leave us scratching our heads. This listing advertises part of a “tower” for $330 a month. The person advertising the space goes on a rant about amenities. “There’s a roof deck if you’d prefer that to those areas, and a lobby as well, with a fireplace that gets lit when it’s cold. These aren’t small spaces either. Only grand appointments for you!” the description reads. There are no photos, and all we know is that this place is located somewhere by O’Farrell and Hyde Streets in downtown San Francisco.
At least this conversion has been insulated
The housing crisis is not limited to the immediate Bay Area. As rent prices increase, renters are sometimes forced to look farther out in the suburbs in cities such as Antioch and Pittsburg. This converted three-car garage has been turned into two rooms without any actual heat, but the garage doors are insulated and covered with thick curtains. There are also plenty of loose electrical cables hanging from the ceiling.
All 100 square feet just for you!
This compact “private unit” in San Leandro doesn’t come with a kitchen, but you do get a mini fridge, a microwave, and a toaster. The bathroom, unfortunately, is located outside, and you’ll have to share it with two other people. Despite the fact that you don’t have an actual kitchen, you still have to come up with $85 a month for utilities. If you have a bed that’s bigger than a twin, make sure to downsize prior to moving in.
That’s all we have for the final column of the year. We hope you’ve enjoyed reading it every month. If you have, be sure to let us know.
