Welcome to another installment of the rental horrors that lurk on Craigslist. This month, we decided to see what the folks on local subreddits had to say about the state of the Bay Area rental market.
Lucky for us, someone on r/bayarea posted a picture of what looks like a tiny home being wheeled on I-80 near Berkeley. The caption reads, “$4000 a month rental heading down 80.” While we don’t know how much the tiny home in the photograph is going for, one thing is certain: people had a lot to say about renting in the Bay. “Must have 50 years of references. Single occupancy. Must make 15x the rent,” one user wrote. “I don’t mind sharing a toilet with them and my three roommates,” said another user.
Snark aside, other commenters mentioned the hurdles of actually being able to build either in-law units or a tiny home to help alleviate the housing crisis. “Contra Costa [County] permits ‘accessory dwelling units’ on single-family properties now,” one Redditor said, though they also lamented not having the funds to actually do it.
Together, these types of posts on different social media channels point to the frustration many renters encounter with finding an affordable not-a-living-room space in which to live, as well as the restrictions certain Bay Area cities have levied when it comes to building additions.
This month, we found attics, unpermitted commercial spaces, and much more! Join us down this month’s rabbit hole.
Do Not Apply If You’re Tall
There are no pictures of this attic turned bedroom, but the post indicates that the roof is slanted. So if you’re taller than 5’8, this one is not for you—but to be fair, it’s extremely affordable, at $640 a month. The ad also indicates that the “room is part of a 3 br attic.” Does that mean that all three rooms are part of the attic? It’s unclear, as the ad doesn’t really specify much about the actual room itself other than that the roommates have low tolerance for drama.
If Your Political Party Matters, This One Isn’t for You
The person renting out this home doesn’t need your money to cover the bills but enjoys the company of roommates. The ad doesn’t even specify the actual price per month. The kicker: you might not like living with a libertarian, according to the poster. “If you’re emotionally attached to the Republican or Democrat factions of the Ruling Party, you might not like some of my opinions,” the ad reads. But this person is open to learning new languages: “If you can teach me Spanish, Irish, Scots Gaelic, Chinese or Russian, that would be a plus.”
Exchange House Cleaning for Cheaper Rent
The person who posted this ad needs house-cleaning help for about five hours a week. In exchange, your weekly rental rate is $75. You get to use the kitchen, the laundry, and even a pool. As with many of these “cheap rent in exchange for labor” ads, there are no pictures of the room, no indication of who your roommates are going to be, and no description of what kind of house-cleaning duties are needed. This free/cheap rent situation has become a common theme, though the legality of it remains a gray area.
Location Is Everything
If you’re interested in the coveted Oakland neighborhood that is Rockridge, then this living room is for you! Who needs a closet or a wall to divide your sleeping quarters, not when you’re close to Ashby and Rockridge BART stations. While the poster doesn’t advertise the space as a living room, the pictures make it clear that that’s what you’ll be renting for $975 a month; the fireplace is a dead giveaway.
Bohemian Rhapsody: Live Inside a Photo Studio
Every once in a while, commercial spaces pop up in the Craigslist rental section pretending to be legitimate housing rentals. They are often art spaces. This ad offers a makeshift “room” within a photo studio in East Oakland where photographers and aerial dancers work. All that separates you from the business side are two curtains that serve as “walls.”
While living in a photo studio may sound cool and Bohemian, art spaces masquerading as living quarters are extremely dangerous, as tragically realized at the Ghost Ship warehouse — also located in East Oakland — in 2016. These spaces often contain unpermitted modifications that can be hazardous for inhabitants; at the Ghost Ship, 36 people died after a fire tore through the space, and the two people who ran the space, Derick Almena and Max Harris, are currently on trial for multiple counts of involuntary manslaughter.
An International Home
One scroll through the photos in this ad is enough to make you not want to move into this home. Your roommates will be “brazilians (man)/ russians (girls) / americans/(man),” the ad reads. The photos show an unkempt living room with a sofa, a bucket, and a black garbage bag. The kitchen doesn’t show a stove or a refrigerator, and the room itself is equally as sketchy. The ad also indicates that no pets are allowed, though the photos do include a cute white rabbit.
Your Very Own Flat-Screen TV and Air Mattress
Don’t try to move into this space with your own furnishings. The living room you’ll be renting comes with a couch and an air mattress. One admittedly cool factor: it does come with a balcony. The utilities are included in the rent, and you’ll be helping the main tenant make a dent in the repayment of her student loans with your share of the rent. A noble cause, if you don’t mind the limited space and zero privacy. “Not your ideal setup, but it works so long as our schedules don’t conflict,” the poster writes.
Like Summer Camp, but for Much Longer
For years, these communal bunk-bed rooms — a.k.a. “hacker houses” — have been popping up in various areas around the Bay Area. In most cases, you’ll share a room with four to six other roommates, each one with their very own bunk bed. The total number of actual roommates depends on the number of rooms the home contains. The rest of the home is shared by all those who live there. If you rent this particular space, the owner asks that you think before you cook: “No hard smell cooking (curry, fish, etc.) since ventilation is not that great, and we share all the utensils/appliances you need,” the ad reads.
That’s it for this month’s hellscape of available rentals. Remember—if you come across any creepy, scary, or dubious rentals, send them our way! See you next month with more.
