By Lauren Busley
If you’re new to Tinder, it can be a scary place full of bathroom selfies and tranquilized tigers. Here’s a beginners guide for translating Tinder-speak to real-talk. Good luck out there, boys and girls.
Tinder Speak: How do you know our mutual friend?
Translation: Did you sleep with our mutual friend?
Tinder Speak: What are you up to tonight?
Translation: My original date ditched me. You are next on deck.
Tinder Speak: Hi [at 3 a.m.]
Translation: Will you send me nudes?
Tinder Speak: Cute photo of you and your nephew!
Translation: Wait. Do you have kids?
Tinder Speak: I’m booked this week, maybe next week?
Translation: I plan to dump my boyfriend/girlfriend, but I have to get my records back first.
Alternative translation: I’d like to be in a relationship, but I don’t actually have time to date.
Tinder Speak: Which one are you in the group photo?
Translation: Please be the hot one.
Tinder Speak: Any quote from Anchorman or Zoolander.
Translation: I’m not funny enough to have my own jokes and this has been working on people for six years.
Tinder Speak: What kind of music do you listen to?
Translation: I’m stalling and can’t think of anything else to say.
Tinder Speak: It’s nice to meet you. I’m 5’11”.
From a woman: Are you shorter than me?
From a guy: I’m lying.
Tinder Speak: Didn’t I see you on Polk Street last weekend?
Translation: I made out with someone who looks like you on Polk Street last weekend, but the details are blurry.
Tinder Speak: Sorry to bail on you, I have to work late.
Translation: I’d rather go to the gym than go on a date tonight.
Tinder Speak: Did you get outdoors to enjoy the great weather this weekend?
Translation: Are you a hermit with no friends?
Tinder Speak: I live in LA, but I’m in San Francisco for work all the time.
Translation: Hope you don’t want a real relationship.
