By Peter Lawrence Kane
You already know you’re a Samantha, a Blanche, and a Noxzema from Wong Foo. But the show about young-ish SF gay men searching for love and suitable employment options also presents a number of options. Naturally, there is one burning question everyone wants to know the answer to: Which character from Looking am I? Take our little quiz and find out so you can argue with your friends while watching the season 2 premiere on HBO this Sunday, January 11.
1. What best describes your upbringing?
A. I grew up in the burbs with uptight parents who might be closet edible fans.
B. I got the hell out of my hometown right after high school.
C. I followed my best friend to get the hell out of our hometown right after high school.
D. I live like, what, four blocks from where I grew up?
E. We have a queen. A real queen. Besides me.
F. Humid.
2. What is your biggest source of anxiety?
A. That my longest relationship lasted a mere six months, and I’m not getting any younger.
B. That I might be running out of coworkers to hook up with.
C. That no matter how I try to fight it, I’m a total stereotype.
D. The threat of receiving bad news from the astral plane.
E. That my significant other drinks too much, and I compensate by getting even drunker.
F. That I might be a complete fake.
3. What is something utterly SF that would totally happen to you?
A. Getting a parking ticket for not turning my wheels even though I’ve lived here for years.
B. Realizing I’m the only guy in an all-female Zumba class.
C. Getting talked into working for free at a friend’s pop-up.
D. Walking over the Golden Gate Bridge in a borrowed suit.
E. Running into intoxicated colleagues in Dolores Park while sober.
F. Striking up a conversation with a sex worker in a café.
4. How do you express intimacy?
A. Not getting upset that I’m smelling what my roommate left in the bathroom.
B. Giving thousands of dollars to a boyfriend who talks about his “journey.”
C. Telling it straight to my friends, no matter how harsh.
D. Hitting on fellow Muni riders.
E. Secret bathroom make-outs!
F. Moving in with my significant other way too early.
5. What is the extent of your employment history in the service sector?
A. Offering to cook my mom’s mac-and-cheese for a one-night stand.
B. A solid decade of bitterness and regret at a high-end establishment.
C. Getting fired from Marie Callender’s in high school.
D. I’m probably a lifer and pretty OK with it.
E. Being bossed around by an artist who’s past her prime.
F. None whatsoever.
6. What’s your idea of a fun night in?
A. Golden Girls marathon!
B. Cooking dinner for some potential investors for my latest project.
C. Offering to neck-punch my bestie’s horrible ex.
D. What? I’m working the door at this club tonight. You should check it out.
E. Getting some extra work done.
F. Uh, a three-way with a prostitute, for art?
