I tried everything to avoid it, but this past weekend, I begrudgingly boarded a plane from SFO to PDX. My roommates were far from thrilled, and my friends had their judgments. No one was more annoyed with the prospect than I was. But I couldn’t get out of it and figured since only “essential” travel is advised, airports would be empty and I’d have the plane largely to myself.
I was very wrong.
The whole experience was pretty horrendous and shocking. You’ve likely heard similar reports in recent days — including the viral piece in The Atlantic, as well as this more local account from a UCSF doctor concerned about how full his United flight was from New York back to San Francisco.
But before I flew out last weekend, a lot of headlines were more positive, reading more like: “Check out these pics of SFO. GHOST TOWN!” Reading those, I felt pretty good about the whole thing. Well, there’s nothing “good” about traveling during a pandemic, but at the very least, I felt optimistic.
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To clarify why I was flying: I had to go to Portland to handle logistics for an apartment I’m renting out. I had just found a tenant, and while we could handle most things remotely, I had to repair some things and do a walk through with her before she moved in. I looked into last-minute property management companies, but given the state of things, it wasn’t working out, and time was running short. After some deep self-reflection and playing out all the options, I decided that I didn’t want to deal with potential legal disputes that could stem from me not going.
So, I booked a trip that would have me back to San Francisco 22 hours later. I slapped on my mask, hit that Purell, and packed a bag after almost forgetting how.
When I rolled up to SFO, I was instantly greeted with a pretty decent line at security. First red flag.
I have TSA PreCheck, but it didn’t matter, because apparently they’ve decided to merge everyone into one line right now. Suddenly, I found myself inching forward bumper to bumper with other passengers. People were kind of social distancing, but not really. I was surprised at how many people weren’t wearing masks or staying the recommended six feet apart.
The TSA agents asked me to put my belongings into the plastic bins. I grimaced, realizing the bins were definitely not being cleaned, and I made the mistake of not bringing gloves. Was it fair for me to expect more effort around cleaning? There wasn’t even hand sanitizer available.
Once I got through that process, I headed to my United gate. The seats displayed colorful signs reminding us to “make space” while eerie announcements reminded us that we’re under a shelter-in-place order.
The waiting area at the gate was pretty crowded. Some people were wearing masks, some weren’t. No one seemed nervous. Business as usual.
I was a bit hungry and wanted to avoid the crowded gate, so I wandered around the terminal to find something to eat. Most restaurants were closed, which only caused a massive line at Burger King. Maybe I wasn’t as hungry as I thought. Defeated, I grabbed some Peanut M&M’s from one of the souvenir shops.
It was time to board the plane. This went alright. They ditched boarding groups and boarded by row. Back to front. They did this real slow. Success!
That feeling didn’t last long.
I was the very first passenger to board the plane since I was in one of the rows farthest in the back. I found my seat, turning to see other passengers eyeing the back of the plane, slowly moving toward my row.
Soon, I was surrounded by humans. In front of me. Behind me. Across from me. So very close to me. As the seats started to fill up in the back, it became evident that the rows in the front would remain completely empty while we all were crammed in the back.
Why? Well, the way United priced the tickets, those final rows are “non-preferred” and the only ones semi-affordable. United prices its seats high-to-low front-to-back. They’ve jacked up the price of tickets for all seats and have four tiers: First/Business, Economy Plus, Preferred, and finally, the regular seats.
Here’s more about Preferred seating on United in the airline’s own words:
Preferred seating includes United Economy seats that have standard legroom but are closer to the front of the aircraft in the first few rows behind Economy Plus®.
When you purchase preferred seating, you’ll not only enjoy a better seat in Economy, but you’ll also receive earlier onboard service and, when you land, get off the plane and on your way faster.
So, obviously, everyone went with the non-preferred seats, which led me to believe United’s pricing model effectively discourages social distancing.
Eventually, a man walked up to my row and looked at me as if I must have been sitting in the wrong seat. He checked his ticket, then the row number, and then looked back at his ticket. He eventually sat down in the seat next to me. (They were only two-seat rows.) I tensed up. I hadn’t experienced someone this close to me in months.
My neighbor turned to the flight attendant and asked why we all had to sit in the back of the plane when there were completely empty rows at the front of the plane. She told him to sit for now and, if needed, people would be allowed to move around later.
“It is needed,” I thought. “It is needed now.”
A few other people also inquired about the absurdity and got the same answer. No one was yelling or rude, but clearly folks were frustrated.
Meanwhile, I was burrowing myself into the window to get farther from humans. Then I realized the window was probably a surface I shouldn’t touch, so I leaned the other way into the humans… then back toward the window.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
The man next to me quickly whipped out a peace offering. “Purell?”
He didn’t speak, just held up the bottle toward me. I nodded.
He hit me with that sanitization real quick. I felt like we were cool now, and I kind of wanted to ask why he was traveling but decided against it.
Finally, the flight took off, and the flight attendants said folks could move around and grab empty seats. It’s unclear why this couldn’t happen sooner. Passengers quickly but cautiously moved. But there simply weren’t enough rows for everyone to have their own or any empty rows between us. It’s safe to say that proper social distancing was not able to occur.
For the next 45 minutes, I tried to stay completely still and avoid contact with any surface. I felt like a young Tom Cruise in an early Mission Impossible movie.
The plane landed, and we all cautiously but quickly rushed off.
I’m obviously not an expert, but it seems like some basic precautions could have made this whole process safer, like investing in sanitation stations (saw them at PDX but not SFO), limiting the number of passengers on aircraft, and making sure they can be arranged to maintain social distance, as well as requiring and providing masks. Basic, commonsense things.
And on a personal note, I should probably figure out how to get a property manager.
