By Molly Sanchez

Dear Alton Brown,
Can I call you Alton? I am excited that you are here in the city today to do your Edible Inevitable show. SF Eater reported on it, it sounds really cool! For one, you claim to make “a gallon of ice cream in ten minutes.” What kind of witchcraft is that? It’s also cool that you say your show opens with a performance by “burping, farting puppets” rapping. I like burping and farting as much as the next guy! Sounds like a fun night and I’m glad you’re here.
BUT
There is something about Mary — your Bloody Mary choice to be exact. Dottie’s is a kick ass restaurant. They make an omelet there that curls my toes and I am in love with their jalapeño jam. It’s so good I’d wait in line all day to eat there and their staff is super nice. However, Dottie’s Bloody Marys aren’t the best this city has to offer. They’re made with soju, a spirit that belongs inside a hollowed out pineapple, not in your breakfast cocktail. It isn’t a strong Mary or a spicy one, and I am saddened that you chose that drink at that place to “knock off the fog in San Fran.” You can do better.
Your fans on Twitter are offering great suggestions for where to eat next using the hashtag #ABRoadEatsSanFran (4505 Meats and Craftsmen and Wolves among them) so I’d like to add to their favorites and suggest where you can get a decent Bloody Mary before your show.
Benders (The Mission): A spicy Mary with ample garnish topped with beef stick jerky. Drink on the patio and make some new friends.
Thieves Tavern (The Mission): This Mary is dense and loaded with pickled garnishes. Play a round of pool here to pregame for your show.
Aces (Nob Hill): Even though sometimes you have to remind the bartenders to put olives in their Blood Mary, Ace’s still has lots of spice-infused vodka that gives this drink a kick that Soju just can’t match.
Zeitgeist (The Mission): Try this crazy spicy Bloody Mary on their back patio and soak in our local culture … and our gloomy spring weather.
After trying these I think you’ll find that the Bloody Mary at Dottie’s, though they are the gods and goddesses of breakfast, deserves to be chopped.
Have a good show,
Molly Sanchez, Bloody Mary Advocate
P.S
Dottie’s, I do love you I promise, I just find that your Bloody Mary is not my cup of tea … or vodka.
Via Eater SF, image courtesy of Twitter.
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