In San Francisco, the Marina neighborhood is what the Castro might look like if every gay man simultaneously came out as a Sigma Chi. It is where the bros go to thrive, but also some good brunch. And probably a whole lotta bachelorette parties.
I guess it's not surprising, then, that we used to have a male pageant called Mr. Marina, where "talent" could be beer pong, and a swimsuit competition involved 28-year-old men who worked in commercial banking, flexing in pastel briefs and speedos.
I was busy dancing on Pride stages in 2015 and missed this whole era. And while I want to hate pretty much anything fratty that intimidated me out of so many rooms in my 20s, it is also not hard to laugh maniacally at these straight guys paying homage to Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love."
Or this guy planting his flag on the moon:
Or whatever this is. Lol, you get yours, Ariel:
The premise was simple. Each spring beginning in 2012, ten or so men from the 94123 zip code, or close enough, would compete in a series of segments: swimwear, "Marina-wear," talent, Q&A. Proceeds benefited the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. By 2017, the event had raised more than $700,000 for LLS. That year's finale moved into the Palace of Fine Arts Theater, lending an actual neighborhood institution to what had previously taken place at Ruby Skye and the Regency Ballroom.
The Bold Italic
"I had envisioned something like a mix between Zoolander and a J.Crew catalog," wrote Sierra Hartman for The Bold Italic in 2015. "But, overall, it ended up being pleasantly non-douchey."
The press response was a feedback loop of affectionate disgust. SFist made an ongoing beat out of it, running yearly dispatches that referred to contestants as "scrotum-gazing bros" while clearly never missing a year of coverage. E! Online called it "the bro-iest thing in the entire world." Refinery29 ran a feature noting the official requirements: "Social, fun-loving, generous, manly… and it doesn't hurt if he enjoys wearing pastel colors from time to time."
A short-lived spinoff called Mr. Mission tried to do the same thing for the hipster side of town, but it never quite caught the same wind. Lately, it feels like our buzzy crowd pleasers have turned to lookalike contests, including Bad Bunny, Dev Patel, Selena, "Heated Rivalry" (of course), and a JFK Jr. one. And then of course there's the unbeatable Hunky Jesus.
As for Mr. Marina, it unofficially ceased operations since the pandemic. Its Facebook page is still live, and where I found a quite thorough photo archive for this story. Its final post put out a tentative call for "Mr. Marina 2020" candidates in January that year, before COVID lockdown.
Lately I've been rooting through The Bold Italic archives and missing the 2010s, when San Francisco was still confident enough to be a little silly in public. Nothing is ever gone entirely, even though everyone is always crying, "Oh no! Old San Francisco is disappearing!" We're not going anywhere. But we are constantly reinventing.
Saul Sugarman is editor in chief and owner of The Bold Italic.
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The Mr. Marina Competition at a glance
- Founded as a fundraiser for the Bay Area chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, with total proceeds reported at $883,000 across the program's run, per the organizers
- More than 70 contestants competed over the program's lifespan, with rosters of 10 to 14 men per year drawn from the 94123 zip code and adjacent neighborhoods
Competition format
- A swimwear round, a "Marina-wear" round (typically interpreted as Patagonia vests, pastel shorts, salmon-colored chinos, and Sperry's), a talent portion (which over the years included beer pong, choreographed tributes to Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love," and at least one moon-landing reenactment), and a Q&A segment
- Contestants individually raised funds in the months leading up to the live finale via personalized LLS pages
Venues
- Early years: Ruby Skye (now closed) on Mason Street
- Mid-run: the Regency Ballroom on Van Ness Avenue
- 2017: the Palace of Fine Arts Theater, possibly the first year the finale was held inside the Marina itself
Notable sponsors and partners
- Barry's Bootcamp served as title sponsor in 2017
- SKYY Vodka sponsored open bars at Ruby Skye-era events
The associated "Mr. Marina" Boot Camp pre-event fundraiser was held at the Bright Blue Fitness Court on Marina Green
Also read
- SFist's annual dispatches.
- E! Online, "San Francisco's Mr. Marina Competition Is the Bro-iest Thing in the Entire World" (2015)
- Refinery29, "The Mr. Marina Competition" (2012)
- Sierra Hartman for The Bold Italic, "Confessions of a Hater: I Actually Enjoyed the Mr. Marina Competition" (2015)
More photos from Mr. Marina
