At this very moment someone is tweeting, pinning, instagraming, updating their Facebook status, checking their fantasy football scores, or checking TechCrunch — on a date. It’s just rude. In a fast-paced city full of entrepreneurs, insta-photographers, tech writers, social media gurus, and food spotters, the hardest thing about dating in San Francisco is not about finding the time, it’s about disconnecting from that brick in your pocket. We are all guilty of being addicted to our phones, myself included.
Another thing we have in common: We all want to get laid. But our constant need to stay connected is preventing us from actually connecting (in bed). So what’s the solution for quelling your tech addiction to get you past the first date? Go cold turkey? No, I’d be crazy to suggest such a thing. The secret is to use your technology addiction for the good. Chivalry has evolved.
Social media fiends and technology addicts, I’ve culled a list of apps that will help you become a digital gentleman or gentle lady. God knows the world needs more of them in this town.
Scenario:
Your date unexpectedly cancels because they are sick. WTF do you do?
App:
Why it’s the chivalrous thing to do:
Pick a restaurant, order soup, and have it delivered to his or her house. You haven’t been dating long enough to see your boo lying in bed like that.
Scenario:
Karl the Fog has rolled in. He might look pretty on Instagram and make you laugh on Twitter, but this situation is no joke. It’s freezing outside the bar and your date needs a ride home. As usual, there are no cabs to be found.
App:
Why it’s the chivalrous thing to do:
Call a car to your exact location; hailing a cab is so analog these days. Have you ever tried to hail a cab in SF anyways? You could be standing out there forever. Plus, you look like a goddamn idiot trying to get one’s attention. Uber’s black cars will make you feel like a baller. Lyft cars will keep the party going, letting you charge up your (always-on-the-brink-of-dying) phone and pick the music. In both cases, who’s paying for this ride isn’t even a question; it’s discreetly taken care of online after the ride is over.
Scenario:
The check arrives. You stare at the check, then at your date, then back at the check. Are we going to go Dutch? The answer’s a resounding NO. You’re a goddamn gentleman/gentlewoman.
App:
Why it’s the chivalrous thing to do:
Forgo the credit card fumble, pay without pulling out your wallet. LevelUp saves you money when you go back to your favorite spots. Your date won’t even know that it’s a “cheap”-er date. Square Wallet rewards loyalty too, and is even easier: You don’t even have to take out your phone. The restaurant knows you’re there, so walk in like you own the place. You’ll simply say, “Put it on Dan,” like a boss.
Scenario:
You’ve been on a couple of dates, but you haven’t been able to seal the deal. What do you do to take things up a notch? Get tix to her favorite band’s next show, of course. Grab a couple drinks and don’t think twice about awkward silences because, well, you won’t be able to hear each other.
App:
Why it’s the chivalrous thing to do:
It’s hard enough to keep track of everything through our ADD-riddled minds. At least you can keep track of your date’s favorite bands with this app. Find out when the band’s coming into town ahead of time and buy tickets. That’s what we call planning.
Scenario:
Just like life, not every date can be planned to perfection. You’re not the only one flying by the seat of your pants. You’ve got an hour to pull off an awesome date.
App:
Why it’s the chivalrous thing to do:
Remember how I said it was hard to keep track of everything when you’re dating up a storm? Sōsh is another app that can solve that problem. Sōsh is a San Francisco-specific app that suggests activities to do and restaurants to eat at throughout the city. Start preparing a list, so the next time you’re confronted with the “Oh shit, I forgot to plan something” moment, you can check your phone.
Scenario:
S/he’s on her way over and you have a feeling this night is going to be special. Guarantee it.
App:
Why it’s the chivalrous thing to do:
Want to turn a perfect meal from Delfina into a living room picnic? Type up a shopping list and Postmates will grab everything you need and bring it to you. Need some wine? Let Rewinery pick out (and deliver) the perfect bottle. Need some slow jams to set the mood? Search and subscribe to thousands of playlists on Rdio. You can click-play directly from your phone to your computer.
Do It Yourself
Download these apps and become the suave, yet still geeky, gentleman or lady you’ve always dreamed of. And for the love of god, after you’ve mastered these apps, get off your fucking phone.
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