Weirdest Shit Out of Silicon Valley
Weirdest Shit Out of Silicon Valley is a weekly series from The Bold Italic documenting the bizarre news, gadgets, and developments in the tech world.
One of the holiday traditions no longer accessible in 2020: winning an ugly sweater contest, unless your work decides to hold another REALLY FUN Zoom party. Despite this, Microsoft has decided that what the world needs is their logo-emblazoned ugly sweaters, so we can get our nerd on like it’s 1995.
These sweaters are available in Windows 95, MS Paint, and Windows XP themes — just to make you feel really, really old from nostalgia. These items are so hot that they will cost you $69.99 ($20 per purchase of this expensive soft-wear goes to the nonprofit Girls Who Code). Sizes range from small to 3XL.
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Important: Microsoft offers free screensaver downloads as well, y’know, so you can match your sweater to your computer.
“Top to bottom compatibility. Improved fuzzy logic. Pre-2K memory cache,” their description reads, cheekily. Oh, I can’t get enough of those dad jokes.
The best part: In typical Microsoft fashion, however, these sweaters will take a while to load (dad joke, lol). They’ve sold out on all sweaters that will be here before Christmas, so you can only get on a pre-order list. And they probably won’t ship until… January 29, 2021.
It’s just been that kind of year, folks.
