The Weirdest Shit Out of Silicon Valley

Weirdest Shit Out of Silicon Valley is a series from The Bold Italic documenting the bizarre news, gadgets, and developments in the tech world.

Welcome to 2021, which started out all hopeful and swiftly deteriorated into a Die Hard meets Veep episode, so let’s all pass go and collect $200 and collectively GTFO of January.

This month was a strange one for the world in general, and that included the tech world, with the tech elite forgoing their usual jaunt to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). Instead, they showcased all their weird ’n wonderful stuff virtually — including very large televisions (seriously, every year, they’re like “hey, we made an even bigger TV, go us!”).

Among the cutting-edge stuff on display was a slew of conceptual-but-will-probably-never-sell type stuff like the autonomous Cadillac air taxi or YSL’s $299 Rouge Sur Mesure, a smart device that matches your skin or clothes with a lipstick with an app. An app. Almost the same level of unnecessary as people owning secret bunkers in Australia or having romantic dates on icebergs. Yeeeshhh.

Anyhoo, new year, new cheer, and let me take off my sarcasm hat for a moment and introduce you to our monthly game: Two Truths and a Lie, Silicon Valley Startup Edition.

This time, we’re focusing on the world of work-from-home startups, because, #cancel2020. Which of the following remote working startups is fake?

• A startup that sells collapsible privacy pods for the home.
• A startup that packs a pop-up desk into a briefcase, allowing you to set up work, anywhere.
• A startup that transforms a shelving unit into a home-office… and then reverses it, at the touch of a button.

(Scroll to the bottom for the answers.)

Know of some ridic stuff happening in tech? Email, DM, or tweet me to include it in next month’s edition.

1. This smart tub has a literal fog machine for all your bath time rave needs

Next-level bath time for a mere $16,000.

2. The mask-and-earbud product literally no one asked for

Mask? Check. Headphones? Check. Coolness? -100.

3. The Petpuls A.I.-powered dog collar lets you know if Fido is chillaxed or cranky AF

He really just wants a cuddle.

4. Windows OS, a cappella style

Those lyrical beep-boop-beep-beep-boops.

Answers to Two Truths and a Lie: The pop-up desk startup is the fake one. Boston-based Ori is the home-office startup, their robotic furniture smoothly shifting your space at the press of a button. YourSpace sells the pop-up privacy pods.