In this series, we highlight some of our favorite recent job posts on Craigslist. If you have seen or, even better, responded to any interesting posts recently, please comment below!
You may be wondering, “Hey, why wasn’t there an October edition?” Don’t worry about that. Instead, worry about our country’s future, because how can you not? Like any presidential candidate, Donald Trump has promised jobs, but can he deliver? How is the job market responding to his election?
Perhaps it’s too soon to tell, because I’ve seen a lot of the same ol’ posts by creepers and too-good-to-be-true schemes, along with standard tech-company ads. Here are a few that I enjoyed. Now go get that cash!
Help Keep the World’s Lamest People Alive
What: Cooking vegan food for techies, possibly the most San Francisco job I’ve ever come across.
The Good: This is a real job with pay and benefits. And truth be told, you have legit skills if you can land this one.
The Bad: You’ll be ready to kill yourself before too long. And like any tech company, this one will probably fail, especially once Trump destroys our economy.
(Vomit)
What: Someone wants to take pictures of preteen girls. And not pay them.
The Good: The girls get copies of the pictures and possibly some paid gigs.
The Bad: This is just weird, and the kind of thing Donald Trump did.
The “Old Fashioned”
What: A “refreshing” take on a classic slimy Craigslist wanted ad.
The Good: $200.
The Bad: The poster requests the responders’s photo and age, which have nothing to do with one’s ability to give a massage. Speaking of massage, my soul needs one to handle the fact that Steve Bannon is going to be a government official.
Fist-Pump against Trump
What: A filmmaker wants to film you fist-pumping to protest “the current political state of affairs.”
The Good: Maybe it means that Trump created a job? Also, fist pumping is generally pretty tight.
The Bad: There’s no pay, so this isn’t a job. And it’s a damn shame that this is even necessary.
Asian Guy Seeks Girls of Most Races to Make Porno
What: An Asian dude in San Jose is looking for a girl to make porno films with him that he will then put on PornHub.
The Good: Maybe a white girl will respond, and they’ll have an accident and produce another hapa like me, with an Asian dad and white mom.
The Bad: No pay, and it’s only a matter of time before someone you know sees the video(s).
And, of Course, More White Guys Seeking Asian Girls
What: Lest you forget, most race-specific ads are white men looking for Asian women. As stated here, they seek a “woman of the east.”
The Good:That he didn’t use any racial slurs?Also, $200. I think?
The Bad: This guy doesn’t understand how to capitalize titles. Then again, neither do I most of the time.
The Wild Card: Compensation is listed as “300 of…” What’s that? Maybe it’s 300 $100 bills? Then this would be great! But seriously, if you meet this guy, just kill him.
