By Wendy Steiner & Jessica Saia
Tired of not being able to hold your entire Thanksgiving meal in your hands? Yeah, we are too, fellow person with hands. We figured you’re probably going to be taking those hands to at least one Thanksgiving meal this year and thought you might be getting tired of the same old eating-with-a-fork-and-knife dance. Where’s the adventure? Where’s the pumpkin spice?
The answer is the Thanksgiving burrito. The answer to the second question is the Thanksgiving horchata.
In the time-honored tradition of taking Thanksgiving food way too far, we started with a large tortilla and began adding classic Thanksgiving foods by lying to ourselves about how similar they are to traditional burrito fillings. The turkey is the meat (duh!); the stuffing and potatoes are like the beans and rice, respectively; the green beans are like lettuce, kind of; the cranberry sauce is like salsa if you’ve never tasted salsa; and the gravy is like guac, because we said so.
For a side, we purchased sweet-potato chips and Jet-Puffed Marshmallow fluff to be consumed as a dip — and as a main when people aren’t looking. (It’s a combo that started as a joke but was honestly SO GOOD that we highly recommend it.) To wash it all down, we’ve got a horchata that we flavored with 16 pumps of pumpkin-spice syrup.
If you’re more of a loner stoner or some other type of person who doesn’t have Thanksgiving plans that involve other humans, we made our burrito entirely from things you can buy at the Whole Foods hot bar.
So there you have it. Happy Thanksgiving, San Francisco!
Photography by Sierra Hartman.
