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San Francisco Has Had the Strangest Crimes in 2015 — The Bold Italic — San Francisco

2 min read
The Bold Italic

By Molly Sanchez

SF is a big city and with that size come problems that plague any urban center. However SF is also a city of oddballs, so it makes sense that we also get lots of really weird crimes here. Seriously — 2015 has been like a freaking Scooby Doo episode. Here are some of the strangest crimes from this year so far.

That time someone stole the secret recipe

Instagram-famous bakery Mr. Holmes was broken into early last Friday morning. SFGate reported that the thieves left all the money in the cash register but stole the infamous Cruffin (combination croissant/ muffin) recipe. Obviously the Mr. Holmes crew still has digital copies of the recipe on file but it is pretty crazy that SF basically has a bougie Hamburglar.

Scary luggage found

January ended with a crime as bizarre as it was disturbing. A suitcase full of human remains was found on the sidewalk of SOMA. Eventually the victim was identified as a Vallejo man. Police apprehended a suspect but later released him because of lack of substantial evidence.

The case of the missing tiki

This story sounds like something straight of of the Brady Bunch. A “strong, possibly wasted” crook stole an antique tiki axe off of the wall of local pirate bar Smuggler’s Cove. In order to remove this item someone would have had to get seriously hulked up by way of a scorpion bowl or two and wrench the item off the wall. But as anyone knows, stealing ancient artifacts can awaken ancient curses, so I’d advise whoever took this item to not engage in any surf competitions or the like until he/she returns it.

They’re after me gold nuggets

In January two masked men crashed a SUV into the front of the Wells Fargo History Museum downtown. The thieves then jumped out and stole the museum’s gold nuggets from a display. They took around ten ounces of gold and have remained at large. I ain’t saying they’re gold diggers … you know, actually, that is exactly what I’m saying.

Image via Flickr user, Alan Cleaver

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Last Update: September 06, 2022

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