Craigslist has always been a go-to, if not semi-suspect, destination to find a new apartment, questionable furniture, or that dreamy missed connection. Now, there is one more item to add to that list: getting a general sense of how weird the world is right now.
If you haven’t browsed the site recently, let us fill you in. Yes, there are still rental listings, with new rules and virtual visits. But there is also a slew of new posts from people seeking human interaction in the middle of a pandemic. Yes, that means a lot of people disregarding social distancing and the shelter-in-place order.
We took a swim through the depths of Craigslist so you didn’t have to. Read on.
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Orange you sad you’re so pale?
Just because a person has not seen daylight for several days doesn’t mean they can’t look sun-kissed apparently. While tanning salons are definitely not counted as essential, this business maverick is getting around that rule. We do wonder what they mean by “taking all sanitary precautions.” No details provided.
In need of ink
Looks like someone has found a way to spend their stimulus with “a couple grand” to throw around. This “quarantine bullshit” is a big inconvenience for this person, who really can’t be bothered with a public health emergency — they need more tattoos stat. Any person will do, as long as you won’t fuck them up, and it can even take place in a hotel room or wherever. Just a reminder, tattoos are forever, and this quarantine only feels like it is. Try finding a different way to support your local artists.
Going nuts for a cut
This guy wants a fresh cut so badly. I like how he is concerned about sweeping the hair but not about the risk of infection. Good: At least they’re meeting outside. Let’s not forget about the option of just shaving your head, a very doable DIY — speaking from experience.
Rent-an-animal
This lister wants to rent a pet for his girlfriend’s birthday. Animals aren’t thought to spread Covid-19, so I guess this is fine from a risk perspective, but is it fine in any other way? We don’t recommend renting your animal out to a stranger.
“Sexy server” wanted
Ew. Two offenses: seeking a “sexy” stranger to come into the home to make contact with food, then offering said food to a congregation of other strangers also from outside the home. And, oh yeah, this is just creepy.
In need of a wax?
Interesting choice of photos: hairless dolls instead of actual humans with body hair advertising waxing. And, yes, one of those thumbnails does say “willy waxer.” What is even happening.
Safety dance
This gentleman is looking for a “dancing partner.” At no point does he address the current state of the world; instead he goes on to list his various interests: karaoke, art galleries, enjoying the simple things. Okay. Half of these things are not even viable options at the moment.
Hiking buddy to get high with
A perfect date: long walks on the trail, a stranger from Craigslist, and some dope ganja. What more could a gal ask for? “New to hiking and Craigslist lol.” No weirdos—already broke that rule. Steer clear!
Dark arts for dark times
I guess this person is sick of being scared of the very real danger of Covid-19 and wants to move on to talking to ghosts? Who’s down?
Nails = essential?
Nails, need them. Now.
If there’s anything these posts reveal, it’s that these people are craving company, looking good, and drumming up business. To some extent, we get it; a lot of people are experiencing shades of isolation, insecurity, and financial instability, so let that universality allow you to recognize that you are not alone.
Just remember: Wash those hands, don’t touch any face, and do your due diligence about keeping your distance, and we highly recommend not engaging with strangers met on Craigslist so we can all get out of this particular situation sooner.
