The coronavirus has laid barren many elements of our lives, for better or worse. Things like the state of our relationships (sexual and otherwise), how we approach work, what makes us happy — and what doesn’t — and more have all fallen under a metaphorical microscope during this time of collective isolation and self-examination.
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For some, it’s been an illuminating journey. People have found gratitude in aspects of their lives they previously took for granted. On the other hand, others have since adopted less than ideal habits to quiet fears and anxieties they thought they had dealt with prior to the pandemic. A number of Homo sapiens, frankly, have also just stopped taking care of themselves altogether — like not brushing their teeth — amid growing rates of “Coronavirus blues.” And straight-up clinical depression.
To get a better picture of what’s going on behind closed doors during these times, we asked San Franciscans to give us the proverbial tea on their private lives. They shared with us their deepest confessions and occasional moments of clarity amid the worsening global health crisis.
Here are just a few of their stories that you, too, can find solace in.
“I’m a flight attendant, and I’ve actually been working pretty frequently since Covid-19 began. And… I’ve been sleeping around, getting on Grindr when I’m outside of San Francisco to hook up with guys. I mean, I’ve told my co-workers that I have a boyfriend so they don’t get wind of my promiscuity for years. Sometimes I feel guilty about it, but I also feel like it’s almost impossible for me to remain celibate throughout the entire pandemic. Sex is really important to me, and if I don’t do it often, my mental health suffers. But, yeah, I make sure I communicate with my hookups that if one of us gets sick, we need to tell the other person.” — Michael
“I downloaded TikTok and binge-watched conspiracy theories for days… and now I’m probably on a government watch list, but I’ve learned so much and things are great. I’m fully becoming that cliché late-twentysomething addicted to it. God, it reminds me of when Vine was a thing back in the day. Now, social media marketing is part of my job, so I kind of use that as an excuse to explain to both myself and my friends and family why I’m on it so often. And posting all the time. It’s field research!” — Alexandra
“I started an OnlyFans, it’s now kind of become my full-time job—like, it pays well, and I’m good at bookkeeping—so I quit my tech job and had to do an exit interview about why I was quitting… Not an awkward convo at all.” — Anonymous
“I’m a happy gay man, and with quarantine hitting, I’ve been limited to seeing one friend in particular—it’s a long backstory—but through this process of shelter in place… I think I’ve started to fall in love with him. Mind you, he’s straight as hell. This shelter in place has put my mindset in such a throttle that I feel like I’m tricking myself into loving him more than just friends. Some boundaries have definitely been blurred, and I have to just accept that when a girlfriend comes into the picture, I’ll have to sit back.” — Anthony
“I’ve started getting feelings for this girl, and she’s a sex worker — who’s still ‘busy’ during the pandemic. I don’t know how to deal with my feelings with her, and I don’t think we would’ve fallen for each other so hard if it hadn’t been for shelter in place. I’m both happy and anxious all at the same time about it. To make myself not feel jealous of her having ‘fun’ with other people, I’ve been sneaking out to get some booty, too. My roommates don’t exactly know about the last part, either.” — Rachel
“After 130-plus days in the house, I no longer sing ‘Happy Birthday’ twice while washing my hands.” — Kelli
“I am definitely brushing my teeth less.” — Anonymous
“Honestly? I’ve fallen into a huge, massive depression. I was laid off from Uber in May, which just made it that much worse. Thankfully, I still have my health insurance — I will say that Uber’s severance package was top-notch — so I can go to therapy as often as I need. It’s not that I’m sad… I’m just so apathetic. I feel empty and hollow, and getting out of bed is like pulling teeth. I just tell most of my friends and family that I’m just in a ‘rut’ or that I’m ‘sad.’ But it’s so much more than that, and I’m grateful that I have at least a few people in my life who I can be open and honest with. I think once I find a job, it’ll help me get back into a routine. And I’ve got a few interviews lined up… so I’m crossing my fingers.” — Steven
“I’ve been masturbating and smoking weed a lot. Like, jacking off at least five times a day and spending most of the night completely stoned. I’ve literally been Googling and researching if I’m becoming addicted to self-pleasuring and weed. I might be, I don’t know.” — Daniel
“My husband and I have been trying to have a kid for two years coming up in August. I’ve had two early miscarriages since we committed to trying, but I’m starting to really question if I want kids or not. Aside from the pandemic, I love my life and how flexible it is, and I can work remotely at Twitter for, like, ever, at least it seems like it now. I’m 34 years old, and I’m proud of the life I’ve created and really want to see how far I can ascend in my career. Having a kid might hinder that — at least right now. I haven’t brought this up with my husband yet, but know I need to soon. Still journaling about it to find some clarity.” — J.
“Oh God, I have so many confessions. For one, I’ve been having sex with my ex even though I know he still has feelings for me — and I don’t have the same for him. I told him we were purely pandemic fuck buddies, but he’s clearly getting feelings for me again. I’ve also started going on dates with guys… and then telling them that it’s too difficult to commit because of Covid. But, yeah, then still hooking up with my ex. I also lost my job and haven’t told some friends, because it’s embarrassing. I’ve just been vaguely answering questions for weeks and dancing around it. I’ve never been to therapy, but I’m starting to think it might help me out.” — Anonymous
“I’ve started camping and going hiking a lot with this guy I’ve been seeing. It’s funny, my roommates are always texting me, “Where are you?” because I’ll just get up and drive across the Golden Gate Bridge to hike in Marin with him. One time, I left at 5 a.m. and didn’t get back till late at night. They know I’m hiking and camping… but don’t exactly know about the whole dating situation I’m in. But I feel like it’s pretty safe, right?” — Allison
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