Coit Tower: San Francisco’s beacon of virility. The topographical morning wood of the Bay Area. In the face of earthquakes, sloping hills and buzzed drone operators, the tower stands resilient.
The Art Deco architecture presents more than just a memorial to civic art within the crowded SF cityscape. Coit Tower is just the latest to make it onto our somehow growing list of public-sex hot spots — yet unlike duck boats or the zoo, Coit Tower stands for something even more ambitious than previous locales noted for their sex potential. And not just because this headline contains a pun.
Erected in 1933 as a tribute to Lillie Hitchcock Coit, the structure represents female empowerment and the subversive potential for female dominance within an established patriarchy. Lillie Coit rejected the stereotypes of her time, assisting firefighters as a young upper-class socialite, gambling with reckless drunkards and smoking cigars in pants that were customarily worn by men. She literally wore the pants. Then, after she passed away, she was memorialized by the largest phallus ever to grace the West Coast.
So what better way to pay tribute to her legacy than to encourage some good ol’ fashioned femdom where Coit herself is now remembered? That’s right — it’s time to sit down, strap on and flip the script on public sexual escapades.
Stock Up on Supplies
As with any bang sesh, it can’t hurt to bring a purse or knapsack with supplies: lube, climbing shoes, lube, a Clif Bar, lube. When it comes to public femdom, thinking ahead is the way to bed. Make blueprints, and be calculated — a protractor can be used in a variety of ways.
Vertigo Is a No-No
While most of these public endeavors are all-inclusive, Coit Tower will present a challenge to those who are acrophobic. If you or your partner(s) has a history of passing out or experiencing nausea at high elevations, it might be a good idea to forego this particular escapade — or, at the very least, to limit activities to the parking lot. If you’re gonna get dizzy, don’t expect the jizzy!
Look Out Below!
Very few are lucky enough to have sex at the apex; however, every now and then, the stars align for the kinkiest of kinksters. If the coast is clear, consider yourself one lucky fucker — and keep an eye out for approaching tourists. Whether you identify as dominant or submissive, pitcher or catcher, Aquarius or Satanist, we can all agree that coitus with a view comes second to few.
A Strong Foundation Leads to Celebration
Only a fool would build a house on sand. The same applies to fornication. If the tower itself seems too populated for a discreet BDSM hookup, take to the landmark’s periphery or any spot where you can lay a solid base. A good architect can keep it erect.
Heed the Angle of Insertion
Although this may seem obvious, a simple reminder never hurts — but an incongruous angle can. It can be easy to get caught up in the excitement of sex in public, so always remember to keep intersecting lines at 90 degrees or fewer. Things get loose if done obtuse.
The Tower Will Empower
Lastly, I can’t stress enough the importance of empowerment through public displays of affection. Learn to communicate with your partner, even if it runs the risk of endangering the mission. Getting caught is half the fun, so try to remember who this whole adventure is for: Lillie Hitchcock Coit.
She’d want you to get freaky all up in that tower.
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