If you’ve ever worked in retail, you know that after a few months, you discover that you don’t care. You don’t care if this customer decides on the blue or green sweater. You don’t care what your conversion rate is. And you really don’t care when the new collection comes in, because that just means more confusing, irrelevant names you need to memorize and more items to fold. (Oh, the folding.)
I remember the day when I snapped. A belligerent and sweaty man came in right before closing. He stumbled forward, looked into my eyes (but what felt like my soul) and, pointing at the closest mannequin, said, “I want that shirt.” I grabbed it for him, and then he said, “No, I want a gray shirt.” I showed him a gray shirt. “Not that color gray.” Goddamn. After his card was declined, he told my coworker that she had “nice tits” and fell asleep, facedown, on the pavement outside.
Like most service workers, every retail employee has their own “story.”
Sierra
A Marina boutique
“A lady started saying that I would look nice in a top that she was gonna try on. I said, ‘You will too!’ Then she said, ‘No, I’m fat,’ and cried. This was after I had fished a girl’s thong out of the dressing room after she not so conspicuously walked out with her boyfriend.”
Anonymous
Boutique on Fillmore
“My boyfriend’s mom stole clothes from the store where I was working. It was such an awkward conversation to have with my boyfriend. How do you tell the person you’re dating that their mom robbed your store?”
Racquel
The Gap
“On Market Street people would literally pee and poop or remove used feminine products in the fitting rooms and leave them there.”
Kenza
A thrift store on Haight
“This guy came in and was trying stuff on and modeling for me. I couldn’t tell if he was flirting with me. He was hanging out back there for like 20 minutes, watching my pattern of where I stepped to give the customers their numbers for the fitting rooms. I took a step in the same place one more time, after he had left, and there was a gunshot-like noise. This guy had put a firecracker in the place where I step to grab the numbers. My shoe was smoking. I had to spend the next hour searching for other firecrackers in the store so that we wouldn’t get sued.”
Traer
Clothing store
“This nice young man came in and proceeded to grab about 30 pairs of extremely skinny jeans. I told him you’re only allowed six items per room, and I would have to hold the items while he swapped them out. From then on he called me his ‘little shopping assistant,’ and each time he tried on a pair, he would walk out and ask me if they made his ass ‘pop.’ He finally finished and said, ‘All these pants are ugly anyway,’ and then threw them on the floor and walked out. “
My Grandma
A women’s bra shop
“My manager wanted me to work on the high holiday, and dumb me, I did, and then he fired me afterwards. I learned a good lesson not to discard my morals. It’s over 60 years later, and I never worked on the high holidays again or since.”
