It’s still the Bay Area, and it’s still fraught with people looking to get lucky or get rich overnight. Check out how some people are trying to “make friends” (hint: it’s without clothes while their wives are out of town) or what lengths people will go to in order to acquire the perfect Halloween look.
Infidelity for the Sake of Cleanliness
What: You’re taking on a fairly large cleaning job with no clothes and a big secret.
The Good: You can negotiate your price, and I think the nude part pretty much sells it, so you probably could do a half-assed job of the cleaning.
The Bad: You have to clean a bathroom naked. Oh, and there’s no way this man is remotely cool.
Deer Antlers Needed
What: By Halloween you need to make deer antlers out of any supplies you think best.
The Good: Judging by the picture, the person hiring you has an incredibly loose grasp on what a deer looks like, so you could probably make whatever you want, and it’ll pass the test for antlers.
The Bad: Paper-mache is icky and so hard to explain to others when it gets on your pants.
Instagram Expert
What: Someone has just learned about Instagram and has no time to open the app or attempt it themselves, but they do have time to pay you to do so for hours.
The Good: This is probably your mom.
The Bad: I’m not even sure how you’d drag out teaching someone Instagram for more than an hour. Maybe offer to make pozole in the middle?
Girls Driver
What: A female woman with a driver’s license of any kind.
The Good: Since you have a car, you can easily run this person over.
The Bad: Your boss has no idea how to spell and is probably looking to add “sexually harassed a chauffeur” to his résumé.
Son/Daughter Role
What: Play this person’s child to support a huge lie they told.
The Good: Bust out that IMDb, baby, because you’re gonna get yourself a credit. And $400 is pretty good for your first role in this town.
The Bad: You’re working with someone who seems to have a routine of not being totally up front, so maybe that $400 is more like $10 and a sandwich.
Flexible Gig: Computers
What: Get $700 to sit at home and do something.
The Good: As of right now, it looks like you get to nap all the time while getting $700 “pw.” “Pw” could mean “per word,” which means I could buy a house with the money I made from this article. It could also mean “per week,” which is still a very good rate for setting your own hours and doing absolutely nothing.
The Bad: It’s probably $700 “per warlock,” and there’s no way you’re ever seeing a dime.
